A Housewife's Revenge by Jewel Kilcher Seems like that man took my heart [Feels] Laid it neatly out before him on the floor Then he put on the biggest heaviest winter boots he had And stomped on it for three hours, Maybe four And I hope his Sorrells are ruined forever Cause you know he knows how to push my every button Get down to my last nerve Like the other day he forgot to put his beer can In the recycling bin And he meant to do it on purpose I'm sure So I might just have to tell him Why his dog, Ralph, that ran away three years ago Won't be coming home again Cause you know he walks around the house In his underwear Whenever my girlfriends come around And perhaps if he were good looking I might feel a bit jealous, overzealous But all I feel is embarrassed Looking at him standing there And I hope he never finds his left slipper And my psychiatrist says I should tell him how I feel He says, "Oh great, I gotta listen to her snivel again" So I have these little unfulfilled fantasies Of putting arsenic in his teacup We'd see who'd be laughing then If only he was the type to drink tea Now I hear him come up the driveway In his El Camino With its black with a red-flame firebird on front He keeps the keys to himself He won't take me out to the movies Cause of football So I'll just hold out on something else I'll never cook him another single Hungry Man TV dinner again I say, "Listen man, you better treat me with some r-e-s-p-e-c-t Cause I gotta a whole lotta what you need Then a whole lot besides, and then still a whole lot more" He said, "Yeah, if you were talking about your weight that might be true - but otherwise all you give me is Headache and heartburn" So I took his Hungry Man TV dinner and his Sorrels So I took his left slipper and his Hungry Man TV dinner And I spit on his Sorrels as I walked out the door. And I spit on him as I walked out the door By the way, your dog Ralph won't be coming home again
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