Uses of an Empty Spam Tin

  1. Use it as a shrine for all the animals killed and Spammed.
  2. Use it as a cup for drinking Spam Juice (Spam jelly + water).
  3. Use it as a building block for a Spam tin wall.
  4. Place it at your door step to scare off burglars (Spam-eaters are vicious, dangerous people).
  5. Cup it around your ear to hear the Sound of Spam.
  6. Burp into it. It burps back at you.
  7. Tie a string to it and wear it around your neck.
  8. Cut it apart for Spam tinware.
  9. Give it to someone as a token of deep affection.
  10. Sniff it whenever you get hungry.
  11. Give it as a gift to people who collect tins.
  12. Use it as a candy dish
  13. Sell it as a collectable (people will buy anything these days).
  14. Use it as a Spam bank (similar to a piggy bank but better).
  15. Play a game of kick the Spam
  16. Hang it from your rear-view mirror
  17. Use it to store change to put towards your next can
  18. Use it as a foot stool when something is _just_ out of reach
  19. Self Defense
  20. Beginning of a very keen Spam-man costume
  21. A safe place to store your toe nail collection
  22. Use it as a topic for posting is alt.spam
  23. Tie a string around it and hang it from a tripod. Then dress up like Spamta-Claus and solicit donations for a worthy cause.
  24. Use it to play the game, Kick the Spam.
  25. Lick it. There may still be some Spam molecules clinging to the inside.
  26. Use it as a musical instrument. Call is a Spong.
  27. Tie it to a dog's tail and watch him run around in circles licking at his butt and making a clattering sound. Don't let the ASPCA cinfiscate your SPAM, though.
  28. Make it into a bell and tie it around your brother/sister's neck so you can hear them approaching.
  29. Save a pair of Spam tins and connect them with a string for the latest in hi-tech telecommunications.
  30. Bundle billions of Spam Can-String communicators together to build Clinton's proposed Information SuperHighway.
  31. Connect a pair of empty Spam tins to a Radio Shack Ohm-meter. You now have an S-meter for use by Spamtans as an auditing devise. Charge people money to rid them of nasty old engrams accumulated in past incarnations when they failed to eat Spam. Gain tax-exempt status for the Church of Spamotology.
  32. Photocopy the label and mail it to all your friends.

by:
        Tam Jackson     (jt38+@andrew.cmu.edu)         1-10, 29-30
        Travis ?        (scavoni@scsud.ctstateu.edu)   11-14, 28
        TWINK!          (tpw4968@ritvax.isc.rit.edu)   15 - 22
        Simon Wagstaff  (caedmon@pine.circa.ufl.edu)   23 - 27, 31
        Raj Nayak       (pythonmont@ins.infonet.net)   32

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amethyst@endor.org - 1995