What to do with the little Hotel Soaps
Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a
London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted
this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I
have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars
from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap
dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day
off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The
6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex
dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I
left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily.
I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid
Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little
bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3
little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in
the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need
those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving,
brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are
instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the
shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the
medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps
which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and
which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know
if I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him
last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a
new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past
inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give
it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at
745 AM and don't get back before 530 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr.
Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if
he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned
me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars
of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars
on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of
soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and
remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension
1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including
my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to
bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot
understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to
leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be
rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and
found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my
one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here.
All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you
complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally
returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are
supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere
Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so
she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got
the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size
Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of
today I possess:
- On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of
2.
- On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. On
bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size
Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
- Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. In
shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. On northeast corner of tub - 1
Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used. On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2
stacks of 3.
- Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are
neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4
have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in
use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more
item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in
the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
S. Berman
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