Funny Church Announcements
The following are actual announcements taken from church bulletins:
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the
church. Children will be baptised at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk,
please come early. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson
will sing: "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Thurday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mother's club. All
those wishing to become little mothers, please meet with the minister in his
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an
egg on the altar.
On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new
carpet. All those wanting to do something on the new carpet, come forward and
get a piece of paper.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be
seen in the church basement on Friday afternooon.
A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan
Bleser, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Delser.
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firstname.lastname@example.org - 1995